Let's all get crazy with the cheeze wiz

Techschool:

Phase 1:

So in phase one a typical day in techschool would be, you get up in the morning.  You take a shower, and then your roomate takes one.  You have one roomate which you share the room and shower with by the way.  After taking a shower, you must wipe the shower dry with a towel.  You must also wipe the sink down after using it, remember you will get random inspections of this.  After you put on your BDUs(Battle Dress Uniform, see pic ontop).  You go down stairs, and form a marching group with your flight.  Once the group is formed, you all march to school together.  Once you get to school you stand at parade rest, outside the door of your classroom till your instructor gets there.  Once your professor gets there, you all enter the room, and class begins.  There is a 30 minute lunch break where you may purchase snacks, most popular are the nachos.  And then you return to your classroom. 

Once school finishes, you form a group with your flight again, and you march back to the dorm.  From there, you put your sports apparel on, and you run 3 miles.  Once your done, the day is yours.  However, being on phase one, and not being able to go off base, all you can do is go to the base exchange, or the class six.  You buy useless crap at the BX, and you can play videogames, and rent movies at the class six.  There is also the dayroom, where you can watch movies with other airmen in techschool, good way to meet girls, and if you chose the Air Force, good news, there is some.  Other than that, since your in phase one all you can have in your room is a cd player, so the only place left to go to is the cafeteria.  You go to sleep around nine, and you can only call your family through calling cards.  On the weekends, you prettymutch do the same, maybe go lift weights, or go play basketball at the gym, since you still can't go off base.  You also enjoy this time as much as you can, remember your getting a thousand plus bucks a month just to go to school.

TEN TRUTHS WHITE, BLACK, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT HISPANIC PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Hickies are not attractive.
2. Chicken is food, not a roommate.
3. Jesus is not a name for your son.
4. Your country's flag is not a car decoration.
5. Cars are not meant to touch the ground.
6. "Jump out and run" is not in any insurance policies.
7. Ten people to a car is considered too many.
8. You're in America, you speak our language.
9. Mami and Papi can't possibly be the nickname of every person in your family.
10. Letting your children run wildly through the store is not normal.

TEN TRUTHS BLACK, HISPANIC, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT WHITE PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. Elvis is dead.
2. Jesus was not white.
3. Rap music is here to stay.
4. Kissing your pet is not cute or clean.
5. Skinny does not equal sexy.
6. Thomas Jefferson had black children.
7. A 5 year old child is too big for a stroller.
8. NSYNC will never hold a candle to the Jackson 5.
9. An occasional spanking helps a child stay in line.
10. Having your children curse you out in public is not normal.


TEN TRUTHS WHITE, HISPANIC, AND ASIAN PEOPLE KNOW, BUT BLACK PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. O.J. did it.
2. Tupac is dead.
3. Teeth should not be decorated.
4. Ranch is a salad dressing, not a side dish.
5. Your pastor doesn't know everything.
6. Jesse Jackson will never be President.
7. RED is not a Kool Aid flavor, it's a color.
8. Church does not require expensive clothes.
9. Crown Royal bags are meant to be thrown away.
10. Your rims and sound system should not be worth more than your car.

TEN TRUTHS WHITE, HISPANIC, AND BLACK PEOPLE KNOW, BUT ASIAN PEOPLE WON'T ADMIT:

1. You cant drive.
2. Disneyland is not the happiest place on earth.
3. The peace sign is outdated.
4. Rice is not a main course.
5. Taking pictures is fun, taking pictures of strangers is just weird.
6. Feet were meant to grow.
7. You need girls just as much as you need boys.
8. Dogs were meant to be pets, not eaten.
9. You dont need above a 4.0 to graduate.
10. Fanny packs are not an accessory.

Tech School:

The facts:

So you gratuated basic.  Now what?  Well now you can go on to the next step, Tech School!  So what can you expect in Tech School, well first off, schooling ofcourse.  You are there to learn your new job.  So you will have tests and homework and all that good stuff.  You are in the military however, so if your school doesn't start right away you will have the privilige of doing details.  Details are odd jobs in the military, like cutting the grass, or claning the kitchen and stuff like that.  You also get to live in the dorms, and not wear any civilian clothing for atleast a week.  It really goes on your Tech school how it works out, but you slowly regain your semi freedom with each passing week, and good behaivior. 

You must keep your room in inspection order, while you are at school, your room will be subject to inspections and things, so it must be maintained clean.  Failure to do so will result in diciplinary action, or you not getting to get your freedom for the week.  So how does this freedom thing work.  Well first step you can only wear military clothing, and not go off base.  You must be in your room by nine, no TV, or streo.  You may have cd player though.  Second stage you may wear civilian clothing in side the dorm.  Third stage you may wear civilian clothing on base, and go off base during the assigned hours, but you must wear your AF blues to go off base.  The final stage lets you go off base, even for the weekend, and wear your civilian clothing off base.  However, you may not stay at a hotel, Yeah right.

Many people plan diets all the time, but don’t actually loose weight.  So then why isn’t everyone on one, why don’t the people that you’ve seen on diets look like they have lost weight?  Well there are many reasons.  One good reason is the lies that people that sell this diets give.  Others are that we get them from friends that aren’t qualified to give us a good diet.  Also they seem too hard, and we just quit.  We get on diets to look and feel healthy.  We mainly want to loose weight, but we quit too soon, or the weight comes back, why does this happen?

            Well let’s see.  First we have to consider the fact that diets are gimmicky.  Most people want to sell you something to make you think their diet works.  They want to keep you satisfied and coming back.  So then what happens?  Well the fact is that they don’t care if the diet works, of if you loose weight.  They only care about making money.  In fact they hope the weight comes back, so you do too.  Also some of the diets that do work leave you malnourish, and expose you to health dangers.  Not eating healthy will drop your immune system, and leave you open to other complications like depression. 

            So if the ones that are sold to us do not work what about the diets that my good friend told me about.  Well, the reason these don’t work is that they do not really know enough about how the human body works to be giving diets out.  The human body was designed to live a repetitive life with little change.  Humans are creatures of repetition, we constantly settle into a routine, and vary our life vaguely.  Our ability to change our routine depends on our ability to adapt.  So we only change every once in a while.  We may have bad eating habits, but it is what our body is used to, and though eating healthier foods would be better for us, we don’t take into account the fact that our body is thoroughly used to our eating habits.  The healthy thing to do would be to replace a small portion of our food to a healthier one, and move on from there.

            Last but not least, we get to the point when we do not seem to be loosing weight, or it is just to hard, cravings set in.  Well, if I take all the fat off my diet, I should loose weight right?  Wrong, you would not end up loosing weight.  Your body will notice the missing fat, and begin to save every ounce of fat it has left for dear life.  It will burn protein and muscle instead.  Also it will make you crave fat causing you to give in, and since your body will refuse to burn fat, that fat will then be stored.  We got to remember how smart our body is, and its ability to keep things the way it wants them. This is why you must only get diets from a doctor, who knows how to trick your body into changing. 

            So at last we see why most diets are both ineffective, and dangerous.  Most people do not go the right way.  They never consult a doctor, and they do not know exactly what they are doing.  We need to remember to do things right, mainly eat the same food, but space it out.  This will keep your body happy, and in tune.  Also it will give it enough time to properly metabolize the food, and it will raise your metabolic rate.  This and replacing one or too of the foods with healthier foods will make the perfect diet.

Ok, so there's this guy and his driving along the highway right.
So he's driving and he sees this sign along the road that says "Sister of Maryclarance, House of Prostitution"100miles.
The man quickly ignores the sign and keeps driving.
He then sees another sign stating "Sister of Maryclarance, House of Prostitution" 75miles.
He is a bit more intrigued this time, but blows it off.
As he is driving he sees another sign, "Sister of Maryclarance, House of Prostitution" 50mile, he is now somewhat interested, and begins to speed up.
He comes across another sign saying "Sister of Maryclarance, House of Prostitution" 25miles.
He speeds up even more, and adrives at a hugh house in the middle of nowhere with a sign saying "Sister of Maryclarance, House of Prostitution".

He desides to enter the house and sees a box with a sign ontop of it saying "deposit 50$, go to the end of the hall through the door, take a left, go to the end of that hall and go through the door."
The man deposits 50$ and does what the sign says.
he goes through the second door and finds himself outside the house.
Confused, he turns around to see a sign stating,
"You have just been screwed by the Sisters of Maryclarance, thank you!"